Saturday, March 27, 2010


Read this from fuckyeahhlove.tumblr, and it almost triggered something in me that I couldn't explain:

“I wanted it played at our wedding, along with “Grow Old With Me” and “Nights of Satin”. We talked about living in an old house with a big yard, and getting a German Shepherd, a Ragdoll cat, and a few rats. Our children were going to be named Bailey, Dannan, and Avonlea Jean. We got through it when you almost got cut out of your dad’s will because you were in a gay relationship; we got through your “mom” screaming at you… a few times; we got past your brother-in-law telling us that we were mentally ill and manipulative; we got through the initial frustrations of living together; we got through all the ups and downs of love. We loved each other, and wanted a life with each other. I look back and wonder: if people had just let us live out our happily ever after, would you have had the mental breakdown that led to you breaking up with me? …You couldn’t handle the pressure anymore.

Remember how I held you that first night, and I couldn’t fall asleep because I knew I had something miraculous in my arms… and how could I waste my life sleeping, when I could spend it holding you?

I still love you like I’ve never loved anyone. I still want a life with you like I’ve never wanted anything else. In the words of your mother, “You are too precious to lose.” ”

You know what's the hardest part about making plans? You never know if you'd ever make it there with the 1 person you want it with the most. Well, you know what, eventually we'll all get there. We'll all get that house we wanted, that dream 7 seater car, or even that puppy you prayed for since you were 5. But what make all these 'wants' stay significant after you've got them? You get to share them with someone special. Now, that's the challenge.

Being Single for more than 2 years, (well, what's 2 years right, since I'm only 22), I find myself feeling awkward having to be not single again. Not bad awkward but awkward like your first time in 5 inches high heels. You don't feel steady. You don't feel secure. You don't feel ready. It's like anytime you're gonna fall flat on your nose. But. (yes, there's a but) You feel tall-er. You feel beautiful looking at yourself in the mirror saying, "Omg, these heels look so gorgeous. And what the heck, I kinda look good in them too!". That feeling is awesome. Totally awesome juice.

That's how I feel right now. It's comfort in an uncomfortable situation. :)

You know what they say - You can complain that roses have thorns or rejoice that thorns have roses.

BTW, love looks like this too.......... slurps.

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